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10.09.2012

Why I Walk Around Naked

Welcome to the October 2012 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Instilling a Healthy Self-Image

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared confessions, wisdom, and goals for helping children love who they are. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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Travis and I walk around naked a lot. Well, not "a lot," but we sleep naked, and walk between the shower and our room to get dress naked, and if something gets dirty downstairs we'll shed it there to throw in the wash before walking upstairs to get new clothes. We also frequently don't close doors. We sleep with our door open and Gwen's door is cracked unless its the hot summer and our window A/Cs are running. We don't close the door when running into the bathroom to pee either.

TMI?

Here's the thing. As far as I'm concerned, these silly things are all playing a role in one of the most important things I get to teach my daughter... that God made her body beautiful, her soul radiant, and she should always be comfortable in both. This is not an easy lesson, and its not one that can be "taught" just once. Self image and self esteem is something we all struggle with at some point. For every day that I am comfortable with my body, there is a day that I struggle. But I've learned that even though my skin bothers me, and I don't love my thighs, my body is strong and I'm proud of what its done.

By having confidence in my body, and the person it houses, I hope to show Gwen that bodies are beautiful, and flaws are what make them uniquely ours. My skin might not be perfect, but I don't bother with hiding it under makeup, because it is what it is. Flaws and all, it is mine. Additionally, we don't talk about others looks disparagingly, and we love the book *We're Different, We're the Same* for opening discussions on all things relating to looks. As she grows, these talks will get more specific, but we are setting the foundation now.

My daughter is a gorgeous girl. Not just for her looks, but for her laugh, her smile, her joy, her caring. The way she hugs me and tells me that she loves me so much, and "mommy, i like you too"! I want her to know that she is valued and loved for all of who she is, and that looks are certainly not the most important part of that. But I want her to always feel comfortable in her own skin too.

So, I'm being comfortable in only mine.


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Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
(This list will be updated by afternoon October 9 with all the carnival links.)
  • Why I Walk Around Naked — Meegs at A New Day talks about how she embraces her own body so that her daughter might embrace hers.
  • What I Am Is Not Who I Am — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama discusses her views on the importance of modeling WHO she is for her daughter and not WHAT she sees in the mirror.
  • Carnival of Natural Parenting: Verbs vs. Adjectives — Alisha at Cinnamon & Sassafras tries hard to compliment what her son does, not who he is.
  • The Naked Family — Sam at Love Parenting talks about how nudity and bodily functions are approached in her home.
  • How She'll See Herself — Rosemary at Rosmarinus Officinalis discusses some of the challenges of raising a daughter in our culture and how she's hoping to overcome them.
  • Self Esteem and all it's pretty analogies — Musings from Laura at Pug in the Kitchen on what she learned about self-esteem in her own life and how it applies to her parenting.
  • Beautiful — Tree at Mom Grooves writes about giving her daughter the wisdom to appreciate her body and how trying to be a role model taught Tree how to appreciate her own.
  • Do As I Say, Not As I Do: Nurturing A Healthy Body Image — Christy at Eco Journey in the Burbs is changing perceptions about her body so that she may model living life with a positive, healthy body image for her three young daughters.
  • Some{BODY} to LoveKate Wicker has faced her own inner demons when it comes to a poor body image and even a clinical eating disorder, and now she wants to help her daughters to be strong in a world that constantly puts girls at risk for losing their true selves. This is Kate's love letter to her daughters reminding them to not only accept their bodies but to accept themselves as well in every changing season of life.
  • They Make Creams For That, You Know — Destany at They Are All of Me writes about celebrating her natural beauty traits, especially the ones she passed onto her children.
  • New Shoes for Mama — Kellie of Our Mindful Life, guest posting at Natural Parents Network, is getting some new shoes, even though she is all grown up…
  • Raising boys with bodily integrity — Lauren at Hobo Mama wants her boys to understand their own bodily autonomy — so they'll respect their own and others'.
  • Sowing seeds of self-love in our children — After struggling to love herself despite growing up in a loving family, Shonnie at Heart-Led Parenting has suggestions for parents who truly want to nurture their children's self-esteem.
  • Subtle Ways to Build a Healthy Self-Image — Emily at S.A.H.M i AM discusses the little things she and her husband do every day to help their daughter cultivate a healthy self-image.
  • On Barbie and Baby Bikinis: The Sexualization of Young Girls — Justine at The Lone Home Ranger finds it difficult to keep out the influx of messages aimed at her young daughters that being sexy is important.
  • Undistorted — Focusing on the beauty and goodness that her children hold, Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children watches them grow, loved and undistorted.
  • Off The Hook — Arpita at Up, Down and Natural sheds light on the journey of infertility, and how the inability to get pregnant and stay pregnant takes a toll on self image…only if you let it. And that sometimes, it feels fantastic to just let yourself off the hook.
  • Going Beyond Being An Example — Becky at Old New Legacy discusses three suggestions on instilling healthy body image: positivity, family dinners, and productivity.
  • Raising a Confident Kid — aNonymous at Radical Ramblings describes the ways she's trying to raise a confident daughter and to instil a healthy attitude to appearance and self-image.
  • Instilling a Healthy Self Image — Laura at This Mama's Madness hopes to promote a healthy self-image in her kids by treating herself and others with respect, honesty, and grace.
  • Stories of our Uniqueness — Casey at Sesame Seed Designs looks for a connection to the past and celebrates the stories our bodies can tell about the present.
  • Helping My Boy Build a Healthy Body Image — Lyndsay at ourfeminist{play}school offers readers a collection of tips and activities that she uses in her journey to helping her 3-year-old son shape a healthy body image.
  • Eat with Joy and Thankfulness: A Letter to my Daughters about Food — Megan at The Boho Mama writes a letter to her daughters about body image and healthy attitudes towards food.
  • Helping Our Children Have Healthy Body Images — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares information about body image, and her now-adult daughter tells how she kept a healthy body image through years of ballet and competitive figure skating.
  • Namaste — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment shares how at barely 6 years old, her daughter has begun to say, "I'm not beautiful." And while it's hard to listen to, she also sees it as a sign her daughter is building her self-image in a grassroots kind of way.
  • 3 Activities to Help Instill a Healthy Self-Image in Your Child — Explore the changing ideals of beauty, create positive affirmations, and design a self-image awareness collage. Dionna at Code Name: Mama shares these 3 ideas + a pretty affirmation graphic you can print and slip in your child's lunchbox.
  • Beautiful, Inside and Out — It took a case of adult-onset acne for Kat of MomeeeZen to find out her parenting efforts have resulted in a daughter that is truly beautiful, inside and out.
  • Mirroring Positive Self Image for Toddlers — Shannon at GrowingSlower reflects on encouraging positive self image in even the youngest members of the family.
  • How I hope to instill a healthy body image in my two girls — Raising daughters with healthy body image in today's society is no small task, but Xela at The Happy Hippie Homemaker shares how choosing our words carefully and being an example can help our children learn to love their bodies.
  • Self Image has to Come from WithinMomma Jorje shares all of the little things she does to encourage healthy attitudes in her children, but realizes she can't give them their self images.
  • Protecting the Gift — JW from True Confessions of a Real Mommy wants you to stop thinking you need to boost your child up: they think they are wonderful all on their own.
  • Learning to Love Myself, for my Daughter — Michelle at Ramblings of Mitzy addresses her own poor self-image.
  • Nurturing An Innate Sense of Self — Marisa at Deliberate Parenting shares her efforts to preserve the confidence and healthy sense of self they were born with.
  • Don't You Love Me, Mommy?: Instilling Self-Esteem in Young Children After New Siblings Arrive — Jade at Seeing Through Jade Glass But Dimly hopes that her daughter will learn to value herself as an individual rather than just Momma's baby
  • Exercising is FUN — Amy W. at Me, Mothering, and Making it All Work talks about modeling for her children that exercising is FUN and good for body and soul.
  • Poor Little Chicken — Kenna at A Million Tiny Things gets her feathers ruffled over her daughter's clothing anxiety.
  • Loving the skin she's in — Mama Pie at Downside Up and Outside In struggles with her little berry's choice not to celebrate herself and her heritage.

18 comments:

  1. I completely agree :) I am so much more comfortable in my skin now that I've had children, and I hope I pass that self-confidence on to them. Thank you for writing with us!

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  2. I think that is a really important point to make - that not only are you wholly accepting of your own body, and those of your family members, but also of other people that you see too. Accepting strangers and friends just as they are sends a powerful and positive message to your child!

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  3. It's wonderful to see parents working to build up their kids in every way possible. Body image is a huge issue for girls, so having a healthy start at home is priceless!!!

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  4. It's great that you want to teach your daughter to have confidence in her self and her body!

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  5. I do this, too! I'm known as a bit of a nudist because I'll be as naked as possible most of the time - sometimes that means nude around the house. My 3yo also prefers to be naked. I even let my 9mo go naked (not even a diaper). That only leaves my teenage daughter and husband (her step father) who make sure to keep things covered.

    I'd like to think that by exhibiting my comfort in my own skin, pride in my stretch marks, and honesty about any parts that bother me a bit - I'm setting a healthy example. Go us!

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  6. I love this. I think it's great and I believe it could only be positive for your daughter. Because you are so content and comfortable and happy in your skin.
    We really are their first teachers.
    I've always wanted to feel comfortable walking around naked and just never have.
    But what if my mom had?...
    I also think it's so important that we also don't speak critically of others.
    We talk a lot about kindness to ourselves and others.
    I'm going to check out that book too. I love to have the right book at the ready.
    thank you!!

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  7. Brilliant! Modesty can be a lovely thing, but when we are overly modest with our bodies it can imply we are ashamed of them.
    This is a lesson I am recently learning, I wish I had known it all along. ;)

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  8. Yes! We do similar things here, and I hope it conveys a confidence and security in our own bodies, unique as they are. Thanks for your post!

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  9. Beautiful. Flaws and all, it is mine. Such a good message to pass on.

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  10. This is so great. I am a person who has had a constant struggle with my body image. I feel as though I grew up in a home where a lot of emphasis was placed on appearance and weight. It has made for some really tough times for me.

    I think it's wonderful that you're modeling such great behavior for your daughter, and I feel that it will truly do for her exactly what you are trying to do for her. You sound like a wonderful mother!!

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  11. Thanks for sharing. We walk around naked sometimes too for situations like you described :) I'm not sure it helps my girl, but it is normal to be naked and I want her to know that we each embrace our own bodies, too.

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  12. I've never really been comfortable walking around naked but sometimes wish I were. It's great that you're showing your daughter that you're comfortable with yourself. That's such an important lesson and you're right, it can't effectively be taught directly.

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  13. I never looked at nudity as a vehicle for education to being comfortable in her own skin. That is a fantastic way at looking at self-esteem. I agree, we all have our flaws, but loving ourselves as we are is the key to teaching our children that they are perfect just as they are, too.

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  14. You have such wonderful confidence! I wish I were half as confident in my skin. Thank you for your boldness. It's so good to remind our children that they do not have to be physically flawless to be beautiful, and that is a lesson that is often best demonstrated as well as told.

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  15. My folks spent lots of time naked when I was a kid, and I'm sure it helped me feel ok about my body. I do remember doing a double-take when I was in my early 20s and my mom made some off-hand comment about hating her belly. She really had me believing that she wasn't bothered by her body at all.

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  16. I totally agree with your approach. I walk around naked, bathe with my daughter, pee in front of her, etc... Same with my husband. Showing our children that our bodies are simply that...a body...will help them stay comfortable in their skin!

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  17. I use to walk around naked with my children. When I was due with my 6th child, I walked out of the bathroom one morning after a shower, and encountered two of my sons, and after we passed, I heard one say to the other "did you see MOM?" and I thought "finally!" they are taking an interest in the pregnancy.......but then my younger son said "Yeah. She didn't have any clothes on." I felt perfectly normal and at home with my body, but I realized my sons were uncomfortable with my nakedness. they are all grown up now, and I have it on good authority that they have walked around thier own homes naked, and while they are publicly modest, they are ok with thier bodies. Mine, meanwhile is slowly sliding south.......

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  18. I love this post. What a lucky little girl your daughter is to have a thoughtful mom like you. And you are obviously blessed by her too.

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~ Meegs