what a difference a weekend makes...

I am in such a better mood then the last time I posted. A long talk with my best friend, Babs, an incredible weekend with family, and a personal day (all to myself) on Monday, was apparently exactly what I needed. I'm still going to be actively looking for a new job, but I'm feeling refreshed enough to deal with this one while I still have it.

So a recap! Friday night we headed down to Ocean City and the great house that my uncle rented for the weekend. I was really excited for the trip... but there was also this little part of me that was nervous. I have three cousins by my uncle Wray, and Susie (my new aunt) has two kids (I think I told this story already, but the girl, also a megan, was one of my very best friends growing up). I love both sets of kids so much for different reason, all I wanted was for them to get along. It's a different dynamic when you are gaining Step-Siblings as an adult. The youngest of the kids is 17, the oldest is 28! It's not like they suddenly have to deal with sharing a room. But they are full, grown personalities as well... In anycase, I need not have worried because by the end of the weekend it was like they had known each other forever! Everyone got along so well and we just had the most amazing time.
So friday night we were up late hanging out. Saturday Trav and I woke up, relaxed for a bit in the morning breeze... looking out at the ocean (gorgeous!), then headed to breakfast. The wedding stuff started off with hors d'oeuvres and cocktails at 2 (a great chance for the families to meet and mingle), then the ceremony at 3:30, followed by dinner. It was very laid back, intimate, and just perfect.... one of the most beautiful weddings I've ever been lucky enough to be a part of. There were only 22 people there, and during the ceremony everyone was given the option to speak about/to the couple. Most of us did and by the end there wasn't a dry eye in the house. It was truly moving to hear that much love expressed, for them individually and them as a couple.
After the ceremony, we all relaxed together and had a great evening. People wandered onto the beach, and the "kids" had another late night of hanging out. Sunday we relaxed in the morning, but slowly all trickled out to head home. Again, I took way too many pictures... but here are a few to share (sorry for the low res):

New family.

Everyone!

Megan & I.

Susie, the beautiful bride.

My Mom, bro, and I.

It was a wonderful weekend! Then I had my personal day on Monday. I woke up late, ate breakfast a watched one of my guilty pleasure shows (A Baby Story), put together a dish for dinner, washed dishes, replied to a ton of emails, ate lunch while watching more Baby Story, bought the pieces for my halloween coustume, bought bus tickets for NYC for Friday, then worked on my extra project for work. It was a relaxing and very productive day... the perfect combo.

Now it's back to work as normal, but my personal day made me a little busier which is actually perfect. When I'm busy, I don't have as much time to hate... ;-) Plus I have a lunch date with Apoc today at a sushi joint... which will break up the day nicely. AND it's only a week until Halloween (which means a week and a day until November, hot damn, can you believe it?!)! Two months until Christmas. Lol.

So the game plan from here?!
Enjoy my busy, but wonderful weekends. Work my ass off at my current job, and with the extra project. Perfect my resume. Talk to friends and family... who knows who people know, right? Scour the internet. Keep my eyes peeled. Stay positive. And of course, keep you all informed.

Ciao!

off my chest

An email I sent to my family yesterday... I thought I would open the lines up to anyone here as well. I can use any help/suggestions I can get.

xoxox

I don't think I have ever been as miserable with my job as I am right now.

I've never been thrilled here. It's a nonprofit and runs like a nonprofit - disorganized, crappy salary, unpaid overtime, lots of grunt work... and frankly I'm so tired of all of it. It is boring, thankless work, and it leaves me completely unsatisfied. I'm not learning anything here and there is no promotion potential.

I want a job that I can get excited for, one that I look forward to... if not all the time, then at least more then not. Excited and this job aren't even on the same radar screen. It's just the opposite in fact, this job drains me... I can barely muster the energy to do what I need to do for it anymore. I just have no drive (well besides the "lets not get ourselves fired" drive).

I've felt like this for a while but the last time it got this bad was right before we started travelling around the country a few times a year (for one of our programs). That helped for a while, I love the travel part... seeing new places, especially ones I might not necessarily go on my own. But the newness of that is wearing off and the few times a year just aren't enough anymore.

I want to find a new job... but I don't know where to start, or how to go about finding what I want. Hell I'm not sure I even know exactly what I want, or at least, the right combination of what I want and what is feasible.

Plus, I don't even have much time to devote to job hunting... work fulltime, and my evenings are completely devoted to a side project I'm working on at the moment. I would love to just quit and sort it all out later... but there's that whole needing to pay the bills thing, which makes that completely unrealistic.

Any suggestions, words of wisdom, as of yet unrealized job connections, secret monetary stashes that you've been hiding away for just such an occation?

In any case, thanks for "listening".
Meegs

I do already feel better then when I wrote this (yesterday afternoon) because I had a LONG talk with my girl Babs, and she really helped me come up with some good ideas and reassured me that I don't have to be stuck. I may not get my dream job in the next two weeks, but if I work at it I will get a better job soon. I also now see that I have to stop pigeonholing myself just because I have an IR degree... I have to dream big and see what is out there that really drives me. So that's what I'm working on now. Wish me luck!


Ps. Had a fun spagetti & meatball dinner last night with Ro & Pat, and it was fabulous... at least I have great friends, who are great distractions!!

scary

I think this is the scariest thing I've ever read. I couldn't even imagine.

random

"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much."
-Mother Teresa

The above quote is perfect right now. I have so much going on including another freelancing gig for the next few weeks. Same idea as before, but this one is a bit more time consuming... and my deadline is the beginning of November, so I'm going to be crazy for a bit. Especially since I don't have my weekends to work on it.

I'm also a bit tired still (which doesn't help anything) from the weekend and I have a huge bruise on my ass... like the size of a silver dollar and dark purple. I know you are thrilled to hear that (really), but I wanted to share because good god I have been bruising like crazy lately and don't know why. I also have one on my leg, two just healed up on my other leg, and one big one in the middle of the top of my foot (although should that one count since I know where it came from and it has a definite cause?).

And I apologize in advance because lately I just want to write write write and so chances are that will mean a lot of random ass posts. Wait, that's random. ass. posts. ... not random ass-posts. Just to clarify.

Before I forget, I also wanted to mention that I did it... I got over the nerves and signed up for next year's 3-day. It's official, next October I will be walking 60 miles in 3 days. Wish me luck, and better yet, make a donation to support me (link in sidebar to see my walker's page)!

As an aside, I love reading Susan Wagner's posts. Her main blog, Friday Playdate, is linked in my sidebar... but the woman is all over the place now. Check out one of her newest posts at another location: Mamazine... if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. It's a really relaxed look at turning 40.

Another quick blog entry to read if you want to get a little choked up (in a good way) is this one... on some teens who understand selflessness. Fabu.

So random. Okay, well I need to get some work done and some lunch in me.